I’m thankful that I was able to see Amanda Palmer in concert tonight. It was a positive reminder of so many things that have always brought me out of the dark parts of my life. I got to spend the evening with the wife. I got to get a free ticket for a friend that [...]
currently on my WriteBoard
sometimes i need to remind myself to take that deep breath, even if it hurts more than i could ever imagine. allowing myself to feel that pain and remembering that no matter how much it hurts, feeling is part of being alive and to try to get by without doing so, is cheating myself out [...]
abandonment
i apologize for the abandonment of you, my friend. things have been mostly the same, with a bit more chaos mixed in and relatively stable health until the chaos comes along. i’ve busied myself as much as possible and took breaks as much as possible as well. i have very little to show for my [...]
Invisible Illnes Week
1. The illness I live with is: chronic Lyme disease also called neuroborreliosis, which is caused by a bacteria called Borrelia burgdorferi or Bb. The bacteria is a Gram negative spirochetal bacteria, this structure allows the spirochete to move efficiently in corkscrew fashion through viscous media, such as connective tissue. It has a similar genetic [...]
these are the moments that I hope to just disappear so I will no longer be a burden and so the pain can cease.
i feel as if i’m standing out in the darkness and i’m watching my own light fade fast, there’s nothing i can do but standby and watch it dim.
the world caved in again this morning. the memories came flooding back just as i was terrified of. i want to escape. i want to go home. i do not have enough reserve to face this. i have no safe ground or place to run to. all alone, again.
Solitude
In prison everyone gets a hour ‘in the yard’ – they get to see the sky and the sun and talk to people. Even people in high security lockdown get time ‘in the yard’. To not go outside or see outside or talk to anyone is a punishment, it is called Solitary. And even there [...]
