i’m tired of the fucking expectations. i’m not who i was before, how could i not be deeply changed. it’s hard to live life to the fullest when you look around and dread the next moment of your life. it’s hard to be reminded of what you are limited to. to be told that the [...]

The Cutting Room Floor

I’ve finally started to feel a bit more comfortable in the room full of huge rolls of film that happens to hold all of the memories of my life. I am getting better a running the projector and it’s a bit easier to find the right reel and to put the films on the right [...]

time flies

time flies

Originally uploaded by thetomcollins.

I am excited beyond belief to start to plan tattoos to mark my journey. There reminders of where I’ve been, what I’ve survived, and how to face my future. Two designs are in the early stages of development. They need to be re-drawn to fit my specifications and I need to [...]

i want off this ride or atleast to be medicated for the duration

too damn tired to talk about how the most recent visit went. back on abx and working up to two drugs three times a week. we did one wednesday and another today and i’m wiped out, does that mean i’ll feel double wiped out? if it does, either i want off this ride or enough [...]

june?

i only know it’s the first day of june because of my computer. i’m not sure if i should be amazed at technology or just flustered with this remembering process. the year is almost halfway over, and my initial thought of being done with IV by next year is look more grim. we can still [...]