i could write something worrisome right now, about fear and concern, revolving around one of the many issues we are currently stressed about. wednesday my picc line goes in at 9am and my first infusion is at 10.30am. there’s a lot of worry surrounding the beginning of this new phase in my treatment.
there are good things. i’ve tested positive for Lyme, I was two bands positive and one more would have made me CDC positive. for all those days that i asked for proof, hard evidence, we now have it and many more lab tests that came back not so normal that we are no addressing.
this entry isn’t about that. those details will have to wait.
the sun is just peaking over the horizon and i can see it clearly through the window. my dog is asleep on my leg and i can feel each breath and i cherish her in my life, my wife is asleep next to me, i can hear each exhale, to know that she’s sleeping, recharging, relaxed, without worry-takes many of my burdens away. i keep searching for this moment of clarity, and while i don’t have it yet, i feel much closer. i’m trying to catch my breath before this whole thing really starts to pick up. i hope the clarity comes soon, but until then, these little moments will more than do.
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